I wrote an article about letting go a while back but something kept niggling at my heartstrings; something that I didn’t talk about then but probably should have. So, here goes…

Women are all about investments. They invest their time, their energy, their love… in general, they give a lot of themselves. The problem is, sometimes they don’t know when to stop hoping. Yes, that’s right. Sometimes you need to learn that hoping, dreaming, wishing, investing, is not good for you. Let me explain:

I had an aunty that didn’t know when to stop. She was in love with a married man. He kept her on the side for years and even had two children with her. I don’t judge her as she was a victim of her emotions. Yes, she made mistakes but she really loved him. She put all of her hopes in the fact that he would one day leave his wife for her. He never did. In fact she gave him two children…but he never left. He had his cake and he was eating it…

One day it was found out that he was abusing their daughter. Her daughter. She didn’t believe her own child… and still, she hoped. The case went to court, the daughter gave evidence and he was found guilty. Yet, she hoped. He went to prison. The daughter ended up in care. Yet she wrote to him, cried over him, waited for him, lost her relationship with her daughter for him…and she hoped. Today he is out and she is still his ‘bit on the side’. Where was the promise of a true commitment? The wedding bells? The faithfulness? Nowhere to be seen. But still she hopes in his love…until today.

Sometimes it is hard to let go because it is hope that gives us the strength to carry on. It is the faith that one day we will live the life that we have fantasised about for so long. It’s what wakes you up in the morning when you really hate that job. It is raising your children to the best of your ability although the newspapers scream about gang violence and murder. It is trusting in the means to an end, whilst your dream of being whoever or whatever, is closely plastered to your heart... But what if hope is hurting you? Surely, you must let it go.

I don’t write this lightly. It is so painful. It requires a strength that forces you to go against you and everything that you have ever believed to be true. But only when you let go of certain hopes will you be able to give birth to new ones. Healthy ones. Ones that will make you happy. I had to give up hope in the love of my life (so- called). Looking back he treated me badly; put me down; it was his way or the highway and in the end he was unfaithful… but still I hoped. I lived in cuckoo land where I could forgive him and we would get married and… NO. That was it. I didn’t really think past that thought. You could almost see the fairies right? I was so stupid. My hope in him, in love and in a future was bright but the reality wasn’t.

It was only when reality slapped me in the face - a slap so hard that I wept from the depths of my soul - that I realised what I was hoping for was no good for me. I was hoping for Mr Wrong. Hoping for a life of pain, misery and divorce. My hope was invalid. A fraud. It was selling me out. My hope would destroy me. I had to let it go.

Letting go of that hope was one of the hardest things I had ever had to do. I was determined that I would marry this guy and thought like this for 3 years. I didn’t know anything else. I had visited our wedding venue, thought out the entire ceremony and even had my wedding dress packed under the bed. How could I ever hope for something new and let go of all of my plans? I cried and cried and then cried some more. I told him it was over. For real this time. And decided to block his emails and change my number. I did these things on impulse and didn’t give them much thought but when I sat down and pulled out all of my suitcases from under my bed I knew then that this really was the end. They had been under my bed in anticipation for my new life and home: rows of neatly folded dresses and stacks of perfectly heeled shoes – ready for the not so perfect life that I was heading to.

So ladies, it’s time to sit down and analyse what you have been hoping for. Have your hopes been a living hell? Look at your dreams; your desires; your ambitions. Ask yourself if they are truly healthy and if they will really make you happy, or if you are simply deluding yourself. Maybe like my aunt you’re holding out for that guy to leave his wife but for years you’ve been playing second fiddle. Perhaps it’s an ex that left you for someone else but you are 100% certain that he will come back. Or maybe you want to be the next Whitney Houston, but you just don’t have the talent. I don’t know. I can’t say which of your hopes are good for you and which are not. That’s up to you to decide. So, don’t delay. Don’t be afraid to analyse what you are hoping for and to face the serious questions. Don’t sell yourself short because God has high hopes for you!

I don’t mean to sound horrible or cold or blasĂ© about the whole thing because I know firsthand how hoping is sometimes the only thing that we have. Sometimes life deals us a harsh hand and letting go of things that are bad for us is really difficult because deep down we hope that it will all work out. However, the wound that gushes with blood today will be closed up tomorrow. It may take time. You may need friends to comfort you like salve or time alone as your protection and sometimes the scabs of healing are so uncomfortable and unsightly… but in the end you heal. You recover. And you hope again. And if you add faith into the equation (God’s instruction for materialising your hopes), you can be sure that you are on the right path to achieving your dreams.

I had no strength to dream after my biggest dream came crashing down and promised myself that I would never marry. I never looked at another man. I wasn’t interested because I feared the feeling of crushed hopes again. But one day, after years of indifference, a beautiful guy stood next to me on the train and as I looked over at him, that strange flicker of a feeling that I had once recognised was there again. Hope: welcome back.

The End.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11”

Finding it hard to hope in anything? Or just need to talk? Call this 24 hour helpline for free, confidential, no obligation advice that will put that much needed spring back into your step. Tel: 020 7686 6000 or send me an email.

My Story...

The Breakdown

I was born and raised in London (UK) but at 12 years old we moved to the Caribbean so that we could have a better life there. It was my mother’s dream and my stepfather was in love with the picturesque, sunny island that is called St.Lucia. Life was good. We had massive houses, land, cars and went to the best schools but at the heart of my family was a feeling of resentment that was tearing us apart. My grandparents accused my mother and stepfather of stealing the house we lived in from them! It wasn’t true but we soon learned that even un-truths spread like wild fire. This was the downside of living on such a tiny island.

The dream was over. My grandmother had been my mother’s rock and to spread such a vicious lie tore my family into shreds; taking my mother and stepfather’s marriage with it. My mother became sick and depressed and all the stress meant that she couldn’t remember a thing she had learnt in law school. I would come home after school to my mother lying on the floor. She had overdosed or tried to commit suicide in one way or another. She had come out of the wreckage of her first husband’s demise (my real father) with a house of her own, savings and a law degree with honours and thought she would live the Caribbean dream...yet she felt she couldn’t go on.

To make matter’s worse, I was convinced that someone was doing witchcraft against us. My mum suffered with terrible migraines and I was sure it was due to envy. At night, I could hear frightening noises on the roof like a chariot of horses and always felt a strange presence and funny smells in my room. My mother would burn incense to drive away evil and I sought counsel from my St Lucian friends on how to break the spells on us. They told me that I should put salt or sand in a pot by my door and no evil would be able to enter without counting every grain. I did it. They told me to put garlic and salt in the four quarters of our land and at every window – I did it. But it didn’t work.

The Breakthrough

One night I woke up to someone strangling me. I was gagging but no one was there – but I could feel I was choking. I tried to pull the hands off but I could feel nothing. In panic I started reciting the ‘Lord’s Prayer’ and it worked! It was gone. My mother confided in my aunt and she gave my mother a prayer to put at the door – and this worked also! A man who was rumoured to dabble in evil always used to come and visit my stepfather but from the moment that prayer was put at the door he would make his excuses – he couldn’t come in!

After years of tears, arguments, rifts and fights my mother started becoming sick – her knees would seize up in the middle of the night, she lost all feeling on one side of her head and she developed a problem with her oesophagus that doctors said would kill her. My sister Sherene sent her a pillowcase from London and told her to sleep with it every night. We had so many problems that we didn’t question such a random gift. However, from the first night she used it, my mother slept all through the night, without attacks or insomnia.

In the meantime, I became rebellious. I locked myself in my room, crying, listening to music all day and depressed. I couldn’t get along with my stepfather anymore. Everything he did annoyed me and I took the opportunity to speak my mind. I was so rude. The last thing I remember is being on the floor, covering my head as he kicked and punched me. He was so angry with me. I hated him after that and hated my mother for staying with him. I started to think of ways that I could kill him…

I started to miss my real father (who had committed suicide when I was a baby). My family was so broken by now. My sisters were depressed – one was always ill and strange things would happen to her like movements in her room and the ceiling falling on her whilst she slept. And the other would stay out all night with friends, drinking, smoking, joining gangs and cutting herself.

In a bid to make my mum happy again, my stepfather sent her to London on holiday to see my sisters (who had stayed to finish their education). She came back a different person. She was happy; she had found something there that was worth selling up and going back for. My eldest sister had been attending the UCKG and praying for my family every Thursday. She told my mum that the Pastor had anointed the pillowcase for 7 weeks. She invited my mum to the UCKG and the first Pastor she met told her all of her problems just by looking at her!

When she returned to the Caribbean she sat my stepfather and I down and told us that she wanted to move back to London. She had found help.

We left everything and moved back to London because my mother wanted to go back to the place where she had found such peace. We started attending the church but couldn’t get past my grandparents’ lies and I couldn’t get past the huge grudge against my stepfather. After counselling and guidance from the Pastors and learning that God was actually alive and willing to help me if I used my faith, God pieced my family back together. One by one, they all started coming to the church and shed all the problems that plagued them. My relationship with my stepfather was restored once I learnt how to forgive.

Today my family have genuine peace. They are a blessing from God and every single one of us have had our own special experience with Him. Before this point, I imagined God as an old man sitting on a throne in heaven watching the world go by. How wrong I was! He is willing to help anyone who will act their faith in Him. Now, every time we laugh and joke and spend time in each other’s company, we remember where God has taken us from...

Trust Issues? Me?

My Parachute Jump!

My father committed suicide when I was just a few months old; my stepfather didn’t live up to his promises; and my fiancĂ© cheated on me. In fact, every man that has ever played a pivotal part in my life disappointed me in one way or another. As a result, I became thick skinned and independent… so, trusting God was never easy. The let downs made me stronger – so strong that I became self sufficient: dependent on my own labour and decisiveness to get me through. I didn’t want anything for free and I didn’t want a hero; my ‘DIY policy’ was the only way to avoid disappointment.

When I got to know God and His promise of being the Father I had never had and the husband that would love me unconditionally, it sounded great. The dream was beautiful but the harsh reality was that I wasn’t sure if I bought into it. I soon realised that although I wanted all of those things, I couldn’t get to the point of actually trusting Him to do them for me. My own father had killed himself when I was too young to remember and my stepfather wasn’t much better. I gained solace in my first love and transferred all of my neediness to him - only to receive it thrown back in my face. If I ever made a mistake or didn’t like something he did, he wouldn’t speak to me for days, sometimes weeks… so how could I trust that what this Man was saying was true?

Somewhere along the way, like a thief in the night, I had lost my belief in men. I had lost the belief that they would stick around when the going got tough or that they would carry out their promises or even that they would accept me back if I did wrong. Like a step child, I pushed God’s buttons to see if He would bail out like all the rest. I wanted to trust that He would reward me like He said but I would make sure that I worked for it – I didn’t want a freebie that could be snatched away. In my heart I wanted to let go and jump (!) into His hands but something was holding me back... I didn’t really trust Him at all. I questioned. I second guessed. I tried to earn the promises on my own merit. I tried to be ‘good’. I complained. I sulked. I cried to get pity. But I never trusted Him. I never trusted that He would be as wonderful as He promised or as faithful as I had hoped.

Well here I am today, still learning to trust God and taking it a day at a time. I tried it out and got somewhere and the fact that God ‘passed my tests’ amazed me and encouraged me to try it some more. One step at a time. When I pushed Him away, He stayed by my side and whispered words of encouragement. When I made a mistake and expected the backlash, He assured me that I could start over. When I have felt lonely, afraid, worried or anxious, He always provided me with a Word that made it all better again. His timing was always perfect; His patience outstanding and His care totally undeserved. He was in it for the long run… And when I tested what He said and put it into practice it worked! He was true to His Word!

One of the biggest lessons that I have learnt from Him was that surrounding myself with a bulletproof, tamper proof, barbed wire fence to protect myself wasn’t the way. I couldn’t be who I wanted to be singlehandedly and every day the unresolved issues that I carried were like worms, eating away at all that was good. My ‘DIY policy’ proved fallible because in the end I would even let myself down. Now what? Was I going to run away from me?

I had to face the issues and deal with the traumas of my past; (you know, the things that we hope God will make better but don’t want to come to terms with). I told Him things I would never share with anyone and He kept my secrets. He knew some of my biggest desires (some that I have never spoken about) and surprised me by fulfilling them! He gave without receiving anything in return and when I was horrible He still gave me a shoulder to cry on. It was time to give back…

The Oxford definition of trust is: Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing. Since that realisation in my life, I have learnt to trust in God. Day by day I make a conscience decision to rely on Him for what I need and to depend on Him when I don’t get what I think I need. I have learnt to believe that He will do what He says He will, no matter how long it takes. He hasn’t failed me yet! But most importantly, I have learnt to sit in His hands and let Him guide me through this journey called life. Now I’m working on the next phase: lying down and falling asleep!

Ready to Uncover your Scars?

For those of you who have read the Francine Rivers book 'An Echo in the Darkness' you will understand how powerful this story of faith and genuine servitude is.

Throughout the book, the Christian slave Hadassah is forced to come to terms with everything that she has been concealing under her veils for so long: the terrible trauma of surviving the lions in the arena, the scars, her new handicap and the pain of being in love with someone she could never have. As we see in this story, God never allows us to avoid our fears and sooner or later circumstances will make us face them. He wants us to deal with our issues, not sweep them under the carpet.

When I came to the church I was so happy to find out all the wonderful promises God had and the new life He was willing to build for me. In my excitement I sought Him like I never had…but a few years down the line He made me realise that I hadn’t dealt with traumas that had affected me for so long. I was only a youth but I had a lot of baggage - the biggest and heaviest was the fact that my father had killed himself when I was a baby. The other, was being kicked and punched to the floor by my stepfather. The other was being cheated on by my first love. You know what I mean?

Throughout my walk in faith, situations would occur that would force me to think about it but the painful past was too much to deal with, so I avoided it. However, one day God forced me to “go back to Julia’s house” - it was Julia that had sent Hadassah to be killed by the lions - and come to terms with all the pain, emotional wounds and issues that I had carried for so long. It wasn’t pretty and getting rid of years of baggage took months… but I got there. Now I am free. So free, that I write blogs and articles to help women who are just like me and some who are not so blessed...

It is not a testimony until you have gotten past it. So, come to terms with it. Deal with the baggage that you have held onto for so long. You know, the elephant in the room that no one talks about (?). Perhaps it’s the fact that you don’t even know where your dad is or that your mother never showed you any affection. It may be that you were abused,
 or rejected so many times you lost count. Whatever it is, uncover your veil and let God help you to understand that your scars are a testament of your survival, not of your downfall. You can’t change your past but you can change someone’s present, or future…through your testimony.

My Father Works

One of my favourite verses is: "My Father works and I work." John 5:17

When I heard this verse for the first time I always wondered what exactly God did because as a Catholic for so many years I imagined Him as an old man on a throne watching the world go by! Crazy I know. However, everytime I see beautiful flowers, the seasons change, amazing animals and the fact that I wake up every single morning, I remember: My Father works and I work.

Everytime, I pray for deliverance, ask God to send His angels for protection, cry and feel comforted and receive the assurance that everything will be okay, I remember: My Father works and I work.

God has touched my life in so many ways - from the fact that my body works in perfect sync to the laws of nature that never fail - that I can't help but wonder at how magnificent He must be. After all, His word says that He measures the oceans in His hand! 

So, every time you appreciate the joy of the hot sun or praise the beauty of roses, cast a thought to the One who made it all possible. Think about the One who worked so that you could be surrounded with beauty. Appreciate the One who works everyday to provide for people that hardly give Him a second thought!

"He speaks to the sun and it does not shine; he seals off the light of the stars. He alone stretches out the heavens and treads on the waves of the sea. He is the Maker of the Bear and Orion, the Pleiades and the constellations of the south. He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted." Job 9

The Sure Investment

Growing up I often wondered why I didn’t have a father, like many of my school friends. My father killed himself when I was a baby, so I never got to meet him. It was only after hearing his story that I realised the many mistakes that he had made before his very last and fatal one. My father invested himself in what he loved: music, money, friends and work. When things were good they were really good but when they were bad he decided that he couldn’t take it anymore.

 Thoughts of my father’s death plagued me throughout my childhood: “Didn’t he love me enough to live for me?” It was only after many years of torment that I realised that my father had invested too much of himself in things that were unworthy. Those things could never give him the return that he was expecting and when they didn’t, life didn’t seem worth living.

 My mother however, hadn’t invested herself in anything physical, so when he blew himself up, taking our home, possessions, savings and clothes with him, she didn’t think to end it all. She chose to invest in my sisters and I and later, to entrust her all to God.

In my short but eventful life I have invested in many things: relationships, friends, family, careers, studies… and I have always expected some kind of return. However, the most precious rule I have learnt is that nothing and no one in this life is worth my all. When I got to know about God (through my mother), I understood how He had protected me throughout my life, taken care of my mother and always provided for my family. He stood in for the father that left me and that faithfulness made me realise that He was a sure investment. He was the only One worth 100% of me because only He could handle such a stake in my life.

You see, in life we are encouraged to invest in many things, be it financially, spiritually, emotionally or physically but most of the time we end up disappointed when they don’t come through for us. If you have invested yourself in all of the wrong things or nothing has given you a good return then don't end it all, just withdraw that investment.

You want my advice? Find out who God is and invest in Him. I promise you, it will pay dividends, from here to eternity. You can bank your life on it!

The Travelling Necklace

It was the night before the General Election but besides pondering the future of my country, my thoughts were governed by: “What am I going to wear with this beautiful necklace?!” I wasn’t as excited as some of the other girls, as I’m surrounded by jewellery everyday - my mother has loads of it and my sister is a jewellery designer! However, when I finally received the monochrome floral creation, I knew in my heart that this purpose was so much more than flaunting a bold accessory...

It was a fight to get the necklace in the first place, so when I finally did it was a relief! As I studied the intricate floral pattern and smooth glass accents, I thought of all the girls that had worn it before me and all the girls that would wear it after. They were girls with so many stories to tell; girls who had walked different journeys and travelled difficult paths... However, the one thing that linked us all together was our faith: to become the women that God created us to be.

I prayed for the one who gave it to me and for the one who would receive it from me, that in some way they would be blessed just by wearing it. It was then that God revealed to me that the beauty of this necklace was the fact that it was made up of so many smaller pieces.

It reminded me of a sacrifice I had made years ago. Before that sacrifice I used to look at my life with joy – it was beautiful to me. Perfect. I was serving God, my family were in the church, I was healthy and I had the love of my life by my side. I looked at my life and saw it was good. However, one day something happened and I lost it all. I will never forget that day. You know it’s like when one link on your necklace snaps and all the beads go crashing to the floor. The biggest tragedy was that I lost my faith in God. I no longer believed in His providence and felt as though He had let me down. I couldn’t believe He could allow this to happen to me and I didn’t want to continue living anymore. I had no strength to ‘pick up those beads’ and felt as though I had nothing to testify about.

After years of existing this way, one day God gave me a new set of semi precious stones. He was faithful although I wasn’t. He was ready to rebuild that necklace that had shattered so many years before. I wasn’t prepared and so I made a sacrifice of faith for God to help me rebuild my life again. He asked all my lovely clothes and some of the best jewellery I had in return, (as they were my crutch and my defence to this world). I cried that night. All night. However, when I presented my sacrifice on the altar I knew change was on the horizon. I didn’t know how I would live without all those precious things but knew that I wanted to truly find life again.

I started to see God do wonderful things in my life and couldn’t believe the journey He was taking me on. He left me with a beautiful testimony – an accessory that can never be taken from me – with jewels so precious every one of them tells a story. I am amazed that my hardships are now a statement of all the wonderful things that God has done for me. He stayed with me in my black hole and held my hand when He encouraged me to come out.

Whenever I wear beautiful things, like this Travelling Necklace, I remember that sacrifice and thank God for where He has taken me from. Today He has given me something that is far more precious than everything I placed my hopes on. My story is my statement piece and every battle I faced an intricate detail, sealed by the mercy of God.

Like this Travelling Necklace I too want to pass on a legacy to my children and my children’s children: a faith that makes such a statement that they too will want to wear it.

One of the results of my tough times:

“Let not mercy and truth forsake you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart, and so find favour and high esteem in the sight of God and man.” Proverbs 3:3,4

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...Why do you make me feel so small?

Children aren’t phased by beauty… until they start school! Observing is what women do best: we learn it from as early as childhood. It’s the long stare as another female breezes into the room; the quick glance at her shoes as she rushes onto the tube; the admiration of that hair - that’s always bouncy and full of shine! - “How does she do it?” we wonder… “She must take ages in the morning!”

I don’t follow the conventional when it comes to beauty and my ideals definitely aren’t consistent with the standards that this superficial society has fed me. The pressures to be thin, wrinkle free and flawless can get too much sometimes...

The size zero debate really gets me on my soapbox. I hate hearing about it to be honest - especially here in London - where everyone complains (because it is the right thing to do) but our catwalks are littered with models that can barely walk for lack of energy; have dark circles, carefully concealed by top makeup artists; and collarbones so razor sharp that they could cut pizza! (You know, the pizza they aren’t eating!)

However, saying that, we can’t play the blame game all the time. I debated this at work, and although we all had an opinion, we concluded that the so called “Media” aren't the only ones to blame. It is the people who watch it, read it, listen to it and LOVE IT!

If a “fat celebrity” didn’t sell papers then editors wouldn’t write about it… However, we fuel their fire when we focus on who is dating who… who has piled on the pounds… and of course, looking at pics of Cameron Diaz without makeup on! (I’m guilty!) In my opinion, this culture is a result of greedy manufacturers, fame hungry celebrities and gossip ridden tabloids…and we are the guinea pigs! So the responsibility to make a difference lies at our feet. Yes, the media has a part to play but ultimately we are responsible for our lives; after all, if we didn’t try to emulate these figures they wouldn’t be ‘in’.

In my opinion the media won’t change until their audience does, so I need to define what beauty is for myself and follow that.

I don’t blindly follow trends set by prestigious fashion houses; I don’t believe that being short is bad - it's pretty handy actually(!); and I don’t want to be blonde - as it’s a nightmare to maintain! Beauty for me is being comfortable with who I am because as I always say: Jesus is my standard… not Victoria Beckham!

"Blessed is the man that walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law does he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper." Psalm 1: 1-3

I can't wait to be...Single.

Article by Gemma Leon taken from

Like me, everyone around you probably “Can’t wait to get married!” The first thing that comes to your mind when you read the title is that I’m in an unhappy relationship or an abusive marriage. Well, I have never been married and I’m not in a relationship…but what if I told you that there is a huge difference between being single and unmarried? (And I’m not talking about casual relationships or random dates). What if I told you that even if you are married or in a relationship, it is vital that you remain single? Intrigued? Then read on…

I’ve been to many weddings in my time; some big, some small, some extravagant and others simple. However, the one thing I’ve witnessed is that some people just aren’t ready for marriage. Controversial, I know. It’s something that’s always puzzled me, especially among Christians: “How can two Godly people not make their marriage work? And why do one in three marriages fail?” After years of pondering, I finally understood why so many marriages end in divorce and others are badly broken.

My dream has always been to get married and when I was 15 it became my goal, my one purpose; as though after the wedding day there was nothing else for me. It was as though I couldn’t achieve anything until I was married. I didn’t want to get to 20 without finding the right person. (Even as I write this I cringe at how silly it sounds but I’m sure there are many young girls that think this way). Well, I’m 23 and I’m happy to say that I didn’t achieve that dream because if I did, I would be a divorced 23 year old or on my way to marriage counselling. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not slating marriage! Marriage is wonderful (and it’s still my dream) but at the right time and with the right person.

When I was 16, I had a really serious relationship and thought that my dream was actually going to be fulfilled. However, I was betrayed by him and after 4 years of being stripped of the real me, when it ended, (painfully), I didn’t even know who I was. I spent days in bed, nights crying and I didn’t even want to go back to uni. I thought my life was over. It took God a year and a half to mend my broken heart. Yes, almost two years… And after I got over the pain and bitterness, He made me realise that the reason I was so broken was because I wasn’t whole in the first place. It was then that I took my journey to be single.

Single. A word so commonly used but in the wrong context. To be single is not the same as being unmarried or without a boyfriend. It is to be whole, unique and separate. It’s to have your own dreams, your own personal goals and above all, your own relationship with God. It was only when I came to this conclusion that God started to make my life beautiful again and I started to build a life that I loved. There is nothing wrong with marriage, it’s honourable in itself. The problem is when two self haters, who have not found themselves, desperately try to love each other. Yes, that’s the truth. How can you give love if you don’t even love yourself?

So ladies, let’s go on a journey. A journey to love ourselves. A journey to be inspirational to others and to be the best that we can. A journey to find our life’s purpose and to conquer our dreams. Let’s go to God with our issues (and the things that we have allowed others to tear down) and give Him the chance to piece us back together again. Let’s laugh at our mistakes and learn from them, instead of beating ourselves up and dwelling on the past. Let’s understand that the “unmarried time” is short and precious, so we should do the things we always wanted to. And let’s stop trying to run into a relationship in the hope that a man will make us complete… like I did. It will never happen. No man (as much as he loves you) was created to give you everything you need emotionally. So let’s work on getting rid of the baggage and becoming the whole women we were created to be. After all, single women are rare to find.

The Sisterhood - More than just a sorority?

The Purple Touch Team with the Big Sisters - UK
A Review by Gemma Leon - Taken from

At the end of January I was invited to a meeting about The Sisterhood. Curious, I attended with some friends to find out exactly what it was about and to see if it really was something that I could relate to as a young woman. I was sceptical. Being typically British I am not into sororities, fraternities, Alpha, Beta etc! In my mind that's definitely something associated with the American way of life... but I went with an open mind to get the scoop!

Our speaker Ana was a natural. She spoke about The Sisterhood with a passion that could not be fabricated. I knew, instantly, that it was something that she believed in and that belief made me sit up and listen. As a “Big Sister” she explained that The Sisterhood existed to help young women become the women they always wanted to be: women who are unique in their demeanour, attractive in their speech, exemplary in their behaviour and a positive influence to all those around them. This Sisterhood wasn’t a typical sorority; in fact the selection process wasn’t based on beauty or talent but rather for women who recognized their flaws…but were willing to change.

From as early as the playground we are fed silent messages that we have to be beautiful to be loved, sexy enough to find the right guy and ruthless enough to make it to the top. But what if we aren’t socially acceptable or conventionally beautiful? It made me think about the woman in a completely different way. Yes we are strong; yes we have the power to influence; yes we can truly make an impact on the world – but only if we know how to.

So many young women have lost their sense of purpose and struggle daily with their ever fluctuating esteem. Our value and role in this world have been marred by the influence of modern age culture and the principles set by Hollywood… Could this Sisterhood really change all that?

This “Big Sister” wanted to help young women realise that they were so much more than short skirts and catty remarks. She explained that her vision was to teach young women how to be skilled at all things and be the valuable treasure that they never knew they could be. The message was simple: The Sisterhood was for young women who were willing to change themselves in order to help others. I liked it.

As the saying goes: Educate a girl…empower a nation. There’s only one question you have to ask yourself: Are you ready for change? I am.

The Purple Touch

We are a group of seven friends that have been through amazing highs and devastating lows but the common thread between us is our faith in God. We have laughed together, cried together, prayed for each other, suffered together and argued with each other. Our hope is to inspire young women through our testimonies and to encourage them to become women of confidence, influence and value but above all women with heart ready to be moulded by God. True princesses; women with The Purple Touch. So, welcome and be touched!